Does Disagreement Have to be Divisive?

I haven't asked my husband how he voted because I think I already know the answer - we usually "cancel each other's vote" by voting oppositely! And yet, we will be celebrating our 45th Anniversary next March. My point? I don't think disagreement has to be divisive.Whenever I am asked, "Are you Pro Life or Pro Choice?" or "Are you a Fundamentalist or a Moderate?" or "Are you a Creationist or an Evolutionist?", I always want to answer, "Well......, what do you mean by those titles?" and I always want to suggest that we sit down together and share our positions, so that each of us can understand the other's point of view.

Unfortunately, the asker often is not willing to either explain their understanding of the categories or to explain why they place themselves in one or the other category. They often seem annoyed that I won't just "give them a straight answer." What they don't understand is that I really can't just "give them a straight answer." For example, since I have an identical twin sister, I don't believe that life starts at conception; I favor giving a pregnant woman carrying a Tay-Sachs- affected fetus the right to abort; I oppose the death penalty in all cases; and I would have to have filed as a "conscientious objector" if I had ever been drafted into the military. So, what does that make me? Personally, I consider myself to be both Pro Life and Pro Choice, by my own definition of those terms!

In terms of the evolution issue, I consider myself to be both a Creationist and an Evolutionist (an Evolutionary Creationist), according to my definitions. And yes, I also consider myself to be both a Fundamentalist and a Moderate!!

Twenty years ago, retired faculty member Dr. Miles told me, "I never argue religion or politics with my friends or family." He meant to reassure me that the differences in our position on Inerrancy would not affect our friendship, but his words have haunted me over the years. Why? Because I believe that the only way we can keep disagreements from becoming divisive is to be able to discuss them openly with people we feel safe with. So, who better than friends and family?

As a faculty member at a Christian liberal arts college, I am committed to our campus and our classrooms also being safe places for open candid discussion of our differences of opinion, whatever they may be. If not here, and if not now, then where and when can we learn to respect and to tolerate our differences?